Thursday, 13 March 2008

Medical Article YAWA

Long post but I will explain. Wrote an article for a mag in Lagos which was deemed inadequate by the Editor. Our recent mails below. I took umbrage in his remark that article does not appear to be written by a Doctor. Perhaps he expected to see words like Endoscopic retrograde Cholangio-pancreatography. I think this is symptomatic of the Nigerian idea that Doctor should 'fire' big voluminous words to justify their degrees.
I have posted the said article lower down.
What do you think?


Dear Doc,

I got your text. Sorry I’m replying this late…so much to do and I am in Abuja for a conference.

I received your article.

I have a couple of problems with it. Firstly, I find that a lot of what is contains is readily available to anyone who can browse the web. It doesn’t read like something written by a medical doctor. While I am not saying that it should have read like a page from a medical periodical, it still doesn’t have the strength of an article by a qualified medical practitioner.

I cannot use this article as it is.

To move on, I would like you to rewrite this by picking anyone of the ideas you; sent let see how it goes with other your idea.

Just let me know what you’ve picked.



My brother, we may have to end our correspondence here o.

That was 4 hours of work. I value my time at £ 80 an hour.
You say the article does not look written by a medical Doctor- well, how many non medics know what immunisations are required in the tropics.
I could write an article that you would not understand - but with the public- communication is the key.
That is my style.

Will definitely not re write.

Thanks for communication and all the best with you mag.
Will pass on article to someone else

Dr Wilson Orhiunu


Five things to do and not to do in 2008 to improve your health
Dr Wilson Orhiunu
Dr Wilson Orhiunu is a writer and General Practitioner in Birmingham UK and also Academy and reserve team Doctor with Birmingham City Football Club.

Five things to do.
Physical activity lasting 20 minutes three to four times a week is will produce health benefits. The type of exercise engaged in will be a factor of experience, age, general health and perhaps socio-economic factors.
Walking however is one of the most cost effective ways of acquiring fitness. Training is not required and all that is required is a good pair of trainers. As fitness improves more strenuous forms of exercise could be engaged in. Membership of a well- equipped gym is beneficial.
Benefits of exercise
Exercise reduces the chances of death in previously healthy people and in those with heart disease and diabetes
Exercise also reduces the chance of developing various illnesses such as Obesity, Diabetes, Hypertension, Strokes, Cancer and Depression.
Psychological benefits also abound. There is an improvement in self esteem associated with fitness. The improved strength, power, agility and endurance provides a self -confidence that impacts positively on mental well being.
2. Watch your caloric intake
Eating in moderation with reduce the chances of developing Obesity and its complications such as heart disease, diabetes, lethargy, low self esteem and joint problems.

3. Have a positive mental attitude
A positive attitude to life will reduce stress. Thought processes in times of stress are usually of a poor quality and will hamper problem solving.
Tips for improving our attitude include
- Having ‘complaining fasts’- go 2 weeks without complaining about anything . If things need changing, do so but don’t complain.
- Laugh daily
- Avoid those who also complain or never make you laugh.
- Be content.
4. Relax
Sleep daily. 7 to 8 hours should be adequate for most adults but individual requirements vary. A good night will boast your immune system and improve both concentration and cognition. Tired people usually don’t look or feel their best (hence the term beauty sleep), so get more sleep and look great.
Apart from sleep, other ways of relaxing could be through listening to music, physical intimacy loved ones, having a massage or watching comedy or drama programmes.

5. Have a yearly medical check up
Depending on where you live and where you intend to visit, make sure you are up to date with your immunisations. Discuss with your Doctor about a Typhoid, Meningitis, Tetanus, and Hepatitis vaccine. Make sure you had childhood immunisations- Diptheria, Pertusis and Polio and the Measles , Mumps and Rubella vaccines.
As part of a health check up your Doctor will usually check your blood pressure, weight and height (to estimate your BMI; Body mass Index) and run a few laboratory tests such a Full blood count for anaemia, liver and kidney functions and a glucose level to exclude diabetes. Men above 50 years of age may require a PSA (Prostate Specific Antigen) to screen for Prostate Cancer. Cardiac screening will include an ECG and Echocardiography were indicated

Five things not to do

Stopping smoking prolongs your life. In 24 hours the body is rid of the poisonous Carbon monoxide gas obtained from cigarette smoke and in 1 and 10 years the risks of heart attacks and lung cancer are halved respectively

Unprotected sex
HIV, Hepatitis B and other sexually transmitted infections are be prevented by use of a condom or abstinence

Drive above the speed limits – Speed kills. Always have your seat belt on and never drive after a drink of alcohol.
Take drugs or excessive alcohol – Recreational drugs such as Marijuana, Cocaine, Heroin are harmful to the body and mind. Excessive alcohol ( above 21 units and 14 units a week for men and women respectively) is also harmful.
Engage in self sabotage
Avoid activities that damage your body or mind. Doing all things in moderation is a good rule

Tuesday, 4 March 2008

Babawilly in Lagos 6

21-02-08. 9am
Where has all the time gone! Flying home tonight. Need to use my laptop in Birmingham so off to the computer place in Ikeja to buy my computer power cable. A kind of silicon valley. Nay. Valley of the dead. Nay , Valley of the dead but resurrected computers from Europe. Mai people come see pirated soft wear nyanfu nyanfu.Bought power cable and Tokunbo hand set. Had to take photographs but man dey fear to point camera. Had my camera on and held at waist level. I just dey snap dey go. Beng beng beng! I just dey go. Sebi if e no good I go delete.

22.20 hours Airbourne on KLM Flight 588. See blessings o! four seats to mai self. Ah, see as I stretch dey enjoi. Little did I know say witches and devil no happy as I dey enjoi First class leg stretch on economy ticket.
22-2-08. 05.15 hours
Land Amsterdam . Ah, I say make I go find duty free chocolate for loved ones. Na there the witches stud me o.
9.00 hours – Arrived Birmingham. Collected luggage and was on my way out when the ‘sniffer dog’ jumped on my hand luggage barking. Mai people , na chocolate hungry am?
Na so the woman dey question me rudely and me sef fire back. Me wey no smoke or drink for Lagos. As I answer back now, the woman see say im no fit intimidate me, so e begin search o. Me wey buy twenty pata go Lagos so dat I go dey change and no wash anyone- na me she commot all my dorti pata dey look for public, dey find drugs. Shame wey catch me eh?
Na so people dey pass dey look me corner eye. Dem go dey think say, ‘Eh, dis one wey dey read Bible inside plane, so na drgs im carry’.
The devil is a lair. I don put in letter of complaint to Custom. Wo, even if na Hague, we go reach there. God no go let dem disgrace persin. Nonsense and ingredients!!!!

Babawilly in Lagos 5

19-02-08. 2pm

Had interview on Wazobia 95.1 FM . A Cool FM initiative aiming to develop indigenous programmes promoting Nigerian culture. Met Mr Ibrahim Abubakar (Head of Programmes ; Cool FM) in his office for a brief chat (joined by Emem who arranged interview) before being introduced to the delightful Matse Uwatse- a presenter quite good at speaking Pidgin English. On getting to the studio I met Jumoke, also a presenter, and we were soon on air. Spoke in pidgin throughout and had a few callers ring in to say they enjoyed my pidgin verses. Wazobia 95.1 play only Naija music

Babawilly in Lagos 4

17-2-08. 10.30am
House on the Rock morning service at Muson centre. Chai! I late. Got the CD of service though.
After church went to Tasties and then to Terra Kulture to meet with Laspapi- Wole Oguntokun; the Olorogun of Drama and Theatre. Watched a play- Angel written by Dr Ahmed Yerima and directed by Wole. Not watched a play in ages and I needed to adjust. Soon got into the flow. Mai people, Nepa no disappoint. During a sensitive scene in which a widow was conversing with the Ghost of her dead husband, Nepa take light. Silence and darkness followed. When the generator came on , the crying and acting resumed. I say Naija na tough place!
After play walked around Terra Kulture. Was nice to view their bookshop and art exhibitions.

18-2-08. 8am.
Ahhhh!!!!! Power surge. My laptop computer and mobile phone fuses don blow o! Who I go sue?

Babawilly in Lagos 3

7pm. Left for Eko Hotel to attend Silverbird’s an audience with P-squared, sponsored by Cell-tell. Good show. D Banj, Wande Cole and some others dey perform. Some sang and some inflicted vicious decibels on us. The bouncers at the door eh! See muscles. I get ticket but I still fear to pass door. As I enter dem hand me toothbrush and Close up toothpaste. Chai! Abi mai mouth dey smell? I ask o. Dem say na dem be co-sponsor so dem must give everybody product. Mai mind settle. Virgin cola sef sponsor but their own na to line fine babes with tiny red shorts dey waka up and down dey give person Virgin Cola and Virgin Orange. Wetin concern hot pants and minerals? Remain small na Virgin condoms dem for dey give out.
Anyway, MCs for night were Wild child (you again!) and Koffi. They did well.
P-square come enter. Mai people see dance. Omo, na value for money (for those wey pay enta).
See craze. Four Lepa babes wey follow dem dance eh, dem get nuclear reactor for dem waist. Ah ah. Na radio active shaking dem do oh. I say make every woman hold im man tight for dis Lagos oh!
Soon audience members posed questions to Paul and Peter (P –squared). But which kain name be that? No be nursery rhyme of two birds sitting on the wall be dat?
Some of the more interesting questions-
Why pack a Hummer in-front of a rented apartment?
Answer- ‘If it was rented will I be knocking down walls to build a studio. Would I be digging a swimming pool in the back? The house cost 51 million Naira. Our lastest CD sold one million copies in six days’.
I am 8 months pregnant. Would you attend my child’s first birthday?
Answer – ‘Yes’.
Me I fear o. Pregnant woman come rock with us. I no dey duty o!
How do I appear on your next video?
Answer- ‘Come to the back and leave your number with our manager’. Shame no dey o. Remain small sef, me for go back stage and hand over mai number make I go pose for video.
When will you get married?

Answer- Not yet.
Can you two sit on me?

Answer- ‘Yes’. Na so the girl waka on stage them sit on am dey sing. Etc etc etc.

Best song for me was temptation. With its catchy tune- Pom pom pom- pom pom/ pom pom/ pom pom. This na temptation, with a little confusion..
Sounds like the defence of a law maker arrested by EFCC when quizzed on why he stole so much government funds.
In the end we had to leave. Ah, lets not forget. We were told to feel under our seats. Omo, dem sellotape New P-squared CD as gift. Not for everyone though. You sabi as some people dey get bad luck. God forbid.
Moral of the story - next time in a show in Nigeria, go early and check under all the seats!

Babawilly in Lagos 2

16-02-08. 11.30am

Off to the British Council for WAPI event (words and pictures). Event put together by Emem (formerly of the music group KUSH). I read a few poems and the first of my Dear My Sister letters. Received quite good and constructive comments.
Gave a power point presentation on Love. Was well received. Recycled a joke I heard the previous night. Goes like this- Na bank name men dey take name woman these days.
If she big na oceanic. If e Lepa and agile na Spring. If e faithful na Fedelity and if im ready for love whatever time of day or night na Access. If im papa Dutch and im mama Yoruba , na Intercontinental, if she be prayer warrior wey sabi cover you on every side- physically, spiritually and emotionally she be Central Bank. If she marry you den go find four other wives from Ghana, Angola, Liberia and Libya, na United Bank of Africa.
Is she no tief your moni na guarantee trust bank. If she dey small cute and summarised, na micro-finance bank. Went down well.
Sold and signed copies of my book- My Time. Met many nice people. Left about 5pm.

Babawilly in Lagos 1

Babawilly in Lagos 1

11.2.08. 09:45.

Take off! Bound for Lagos via Amsterdam on KLM Royal Dutch Airlines Flight 1422.
13:15 hrs we leave Schipol Airport on a different plane. I prayed that my luggage was still with me. Last time I flew KLM the crew sprayed the cabin with a toxic spray (?Insecticide). I almost choked. Thank God, there was no repeat of that torture by aerosol spray this time around. Had 3 seats to myself, i spread out like I was in first class. One babe was just looking at me. Small time she stand, ‘can you watch my bag while I go to the loo’ she talk. I nodded. Sebi I be 40,000 feet maiguard abi? She think say armed robbers dey here?
Went through in-flight entertainment and found World music. Femi Kuti dey there dey represent we. Imagine that. Beng beng beng! Which kain Viagra music be that sef.
Small time Dutch pilot dey tell us weather and temperature in Lagos. Persin gat to tell this people say na only one thing we wan know. Light dey abi e no dey!
The air hostess even get liver to tell us say – in the event of an emergency landing on water , you will find life jackets under your seats…God forbid! Na you and who wan go follow mammy water play for ocean. I almost abuse the hostess sef.
Them bring drink. ‘Coke please’ I talk. Na holy communion dem give guys. She just turn tiny coke into plastic cup. E no even full. Dis woman no know say na two cans I dey drink?
Them bring rice, I chop. No Dodo. No moin moin. Abi make I begin sing for dem..oni dodo oni moin moin…
Small time we land Lagos. Best flight I have had to date.
But why should I pay 100 Naira to use the trolley in Muritala Mohammed airport when e free for Birmingham and Amsterdam? Na one sisi even dash mi the 100 Naira as na only pounds I get. (Executive begging!)
Soon we land for Okota na im one useless mosquito hail, ‘New blood don come o!’
‘Your papa!’ na im I take reply am.


Off to Victoria Island to see friends. Everything going so well, cannot even remember what happened. Few things I can remember are going to banks, going to Frenchies, ringing and texting many (Glo chop my money o), eating and drinking.

Attended Valentine Ball organised by House on the Rock Church at the Muson Centre. Got there about 7.30pm. Omo, come see Red everywhere like Red sea. Remain small the Red carpet for divide make I waka pass.
Nice evening it was.
MC for night included Wild Child and one comedian so. Good performances all round. West African Idol winner, Timi sang.
Pat Utomi spoke about his charity work with widows which was quite inspiring.
Dem bring jollof, I chop.
Then we danced. Mai people, na so the dance carry me o. Everybody hail. Pastor Paul Adefarasin come carry blender give me as the Olorogun of dancing. E no easy.
One guy propose to im babe (in public ke!). The guy get liver o! She said yes, so risk paid off.
My friend Enate wey carry me go come release poem to im waif of 12 years. From nowhere cake appear. Im come recite poem. When e finish, me sef nak another poem. Was very touching.
We got home 12.30am but excitement no gree us sleep. Na so so gist.