Babawilly in Lagos 5

19-02-08. 2pm

Had interview on Wazobia 95.1 FM . A Cool FM initiative aiming to develop indigenous programmes promoting Nigerian culture. Met Mr Ibrahim Abubakar (Head of Programmes ; Cool FM) in his office for a brief chat (joined by Emem who arranged interview) before being introduced to the delightful Matse Uwatse- a presenter quite good at speaking Pidgin English. On getting to the studio I met Jumoke, also a presenter, and we were soon on air. Spoke in pidgin throughout and had a few callers ring in to say they enjoyed my pidgin verses. Wazobia 95.1 play only Naija music

Babawilly in Lagos 4

17-2-08. 10.30am
House on the Rock morning service at Muson centre. Chai! I late. Got the CD of service though.
After church went to Tasties and then to Terra Kulture to meet with Laspapi- Wole Oguntokun; the Olorogun of Drama and Theatre. Watched a play- Angel written by Dr Ahmed Yerima and directed by Wole. Not watched a play in ages and I needed to adjust. Soon got into the flow. Mai people, Nepa no disappoint. During a sensitive scene in which a widow was conversing with the Ghost of her dead husband, Nepa take light. Silence and darkness followed. When the generator came on , the crying and acting resumed. I say Naija na tough place!
After play walked around Terra Kulture. Was nice to view their bookshop and art exhibitions.

18-2-08. 8am.
Ahhhh!!!!! Power surge. My laptop computer and mobile phone fuses don blow o! Who I go sue?

Babawilly in Lagos 3

16-2-08
7pm. Left for Eko Hotel to attend Silverbird’s an audience with P-squared, sponsored by Cell-tell. Good show. D Banj, Wande Cole and some others dey perform. Some sang and some inflicted vicious decibels on us. The bouncers at the door eh! See muscles. I get ticket but I still fear to pass door. As I enter dem hand me toothbrush and Close up toothpaste. Chai! Abi mai mouth dey smell? I ask o. Dem say na dem be co-sponsor so dem must give everybody product. Mai mind settle. Virgin cola sef sponsor but their own na to line fine babes with tiny red shorts dey waka up and down dey give person Virgin Cola and Virgin Orange. Wetin concern hot pants and minerals? Remain small na Virgin condoms dem for dey give out.
Anyway, MCs for night were Wild child (you again!) and Koffi. They did well.
P-square come enter. Mai people see dance. Omo, na value for money (for those wey pay enta).
See craze. Four Lepa babes wey follow dem dance eh, dem get nuclear reactor for dem waist. Ah ah. Na radio active shaking dem do oh. I say make every woman hold im man tight for dis Lagos oh!
Soon audience members posed questions to Paul and Peter (P –squared). But which kain name be that? No be nursery rhyme of two birds sitting on the wall be dat?
Some of the more interesting questions-
Why pack a Hummer in-front of a rented apartment?
Answer- ‘If it was rented will I be knocking down walls to build a studio. Would I be digging a swimming pool in the back? The house cost 51 million Naira. Our lastest CD sold one million copies in six days’.
I am 8 months pregnant. Would you attend my child’s first birthday?
Answer – ‘Yes’.
Me I fear o. Pregnant woman come rock with us. I no dey duty o!
How do I appear on your next video?
Answer- ‘Come to the back and leave your number with our manager’. Shame no dey o. Remain small sef, me for go back stage and hand over mai number make I go pose for video.
When will you get married?

Answer- Not yet.
Can you two sit on me?

Answer- ‘Yes’. Na so the girl waka on stage them sit on am dey sing. Etc etc etc.

Best song for me was temptation. With its catchy tune- Pom pom pom- pom pom/ pom pom/ pom pom. This na temptation, with a little confusion..
Sounds like the defence of a law maker arrested by EFCC when quizzed on why he stole so much government funds.
In the end we had to leave. Ah, lets not forget. We were told to feel under our seats. Omo, dem sellotape New P-squared CD as gift. Not for everyone though. You sabi as some people dey get bad luck. God forbid.
Moral of the story - next time in a show in Nigeria, go early and check under all the seats!

Babawilly in Lagos 2

16-02-08. 11.30am

Off to the British Council for WAPI event (words and pictures). Event put together by Emem (formerly of the music group KUSH). I read a few poems and the first of my Dear My Sister letters. Received quite good and constructive comments.
2pm-
Gave a power point presentation on Love. Was well received. Recycled a joke I heard the previous night. Goes like this- Na bank name men dey take name woman these days.
If she big na oceanic. If e Lepa and agile na Spring. If e faithful na Fedelity and if im ready for love whatever time of day or night na Access. If im papa Dutch and im mama Yoruba , na Intercontinental, if she be prayer warrior wey sabi cover you on every side- physically, spiritually and emotionally she be Central Bank. If she marry you den go find four other wives from Ghana, Angola, Liberia and Libya, na United Bank of Africa.
Is she no tief your moni na guarantee trust bank. If she dey small cute and summarised, na micro-finance bank. Went down well.
Sold and signed copies of my book- My Time. Met many nice people. Left about 5pm.

Babawilly in Lagos 1

Babawilly in Lagos 1

11.2.08. 09:45.

Take off! Bound for Lagos via Amsterdam on KLM Royal Dutch Airlines Flight 1422.
13:15 hrs we leave Schipol Airport on a different plane. I prayed that my luggage was still with me. Last time I flew KLM the crew sprayed the cabin with a toxic spray (?Insecticide). I almost choked. Thank God, there was no repeat of that torture by aerosol spray this time around. Had 3 seats to myself, i spread out like I was in first class. One babe was just looking at me. Small time she stand, ‘can you watch my bag while I go to the loo’ she talk. I nodded. Sebi I be 40,000 feet maiguard abi? She think say armed robbers dey here?
Went through in-flight entertainment and found World music. Femi Kuti dey there dey represent we. Imagine that. Beng beng beng! Which kain Viagra music be that sef.
Small time Dutch pilot dey tell us weather and temperature in Lagos. Persin gat to tell this people say na only one thing we wan know. Light dey abi e no dey!
The air hostess even get liver to tell us say – in the event of an emergency landing on water , you will find life jackets under your seats…God forbid! Na you and who wan go follow mammy water play for ocean. I almost abuse the hostess sef.
Them bring drink. ‘Coke please’ I talk. Na holy communion dem give guys. She just turn tiny coke into plastic cup. E no even full. Dis woman no know say na two cans I dey drink?
Them bring rice, I chop. No Dodo. No moin moin. Abi make I begin sing for dem..oni dodo oni moin moin…
Small time we land Lagos. Best flight I have had to date.
But why should I pay 100 Naira to use the trolley in Muritala Mohammed airport when e free for Birmingham and Amsterdam? Na one sisi even dash mi the 100 Naira as na only pounds I get. (Executive begging!)
Soon we land for Okota na im one useless mosquito hail, ‘New blood don come o!’
‘Your papa!’ na im I take reply am.

11-2-08

Off to Victoria Island to see friends. Everything going so well, cannot even remember what happened. Few things I can remember are going to banks, going to Frenchies, ringing and texting many (Glo chop my money o), eating and drinking.

15-2-08
Attended Valentine Ball organised by House on the Rock Church at the Muson Centre. Got there about 7.30pm. Omo, come see Red everywhere like Red sea. Remain small the Red carpet for divide make I waka pass.
Nice evening it was.
MC for night included Wild Child and one comedian so. Good performances all round. West African Idol winner, Timi sang.
Pat Utomi spoke about his charity work with widows which was quite inspiring.
Dem bring jollof, I chop.
Then we danced. Mai people, na so the dance carry me o. Everybody hail. Pastor Paul Adefarasin come carry blender give me as the Olorogun of dancing. E no easy.
One guy propose to im babe (in public ke!). The guy get liver o! She said yes, so risk paid off.
My friend Enate wey carry me go come release poem to im waif of 12 years. From nowhere cake appear. Im come recite poem. When e finish, me sef nak another poem. Was very touching.
We got home 12.30am but excitement no gree us sleep. Na so so gist.

Psalm 37 for the fretful

Psalm 37 for the fretful

Hold liver when Yahoozee guys hammer
No jealous dem
Laik Dongoyaro leaves for Harmattan
EFCC go blast dem complete

Put mind for Papa God
Live, dey enjoi for Obodo Planet Earth

Shake bodi for Papa God
Den im go give yu dat thing yu dey find

Give yua waka to Papa God
Trust am
Like sun wey appear quick for morning
Na so yua land case go solve

Stop gra gra, relax
Make liver no fail when guys hammer
no share reach you,
when dem use wayo to take make am

Coolu temper
no dey shake
Bad pipo dem, God don cut dia light
But pipo wey put mind for Papa God
Dem go inherit dis land

Smol time reach
bad pipo varnish
Like teeth for old man mouth
You find dem, you no see

Meek pipo nko
I say dem inherit plenti plots with no yawa added

Bad pipo plan bad for di righteous
God dey laff dem laik comedy show
As im don calculate bad pipo demise

Wicked pipo pull bulala
gun and machete, to finis poor man
To annihilate di righteous dem
But bulala tail go blind dia eyes
Dia gun go explode inside dia pocket

One pomon of righteous
Sweet pass bad pipo carviar
Di wicked dey claim champion, but Holy Ghost fire burn dem complete
I say Papa God helep carry di righteous shoulder up

Papa God sabi all di days of im pickins dem
dia inheritance na from lai lai to lai lai
Wen kasali burst, dem dey pa
Wen Owu dey blow, na life dem dey chop

Wick pipo yamutu;
Papa God enemies;
all laik beautiful flower wey acid fall on top’
dem all go varnish

Wicked pipo buy market no wan pay
Righteous dey tip borku
Pipo with good head go inherit acres
Dem wey God swear for, go chop sand

If Papa God laik yua waka
E go make yua leg strong kakaraka
Yu fit stumble o, but yu no go land yakata for ground
Papa God take hand wedge you

I suck breast as bomboi
And now everywhere na grey hair
Yet I no see Papa God fashie di righteous
I say I no see dia pickin dey beg garri for road

As good pipo do for pipo
Na so Papa God do for dia pickins

Coommot eye from bad, do good
Make yua leg strong for town

Papa God love good pipo
E no go forget im faithful pickins
E go protect dem from lai lai to lai lai

Bad pipo tori don wowo
Yet righteous inherit land
Dey live forever

Righteous open mouth,
we hear betta word
Im tongue yarn balanced tori

As Bible full im bele
im leg no trap for poto poto

Bad pipo set trap
Dem wan kill di righteous
God forbid dat plan to succeed
God forbid make wicked call righteous guilty

I say no do gra gra
Waka di one wey God direct

He go lift yua head make you inherit land,
wen bad pipo dey deported
Yu go take yua two eye see am

I see wicked man dey shine
Dey laik Iroko with deep roots
Fiam! Im yamutu commot
Like fifty Kobo note, I find am , I no see

Dey look righteous, dey look laik Lucozade
Dia future bright well well

Sinners dem go dey destroyed
Dia future don get Kobo-leg

Salvation of di righteous, na from Papa God
Im hide dem wen kata kata manifest

Papa God helep dem, deliver dem
I say im save dem from wicked pipo
Bicos why?
Di righteous dey laik refugee for Papa God belle




God almighty, na you bico!!!


Dr Wilson Orhiunu

Babawilly

16-12-07

Victor Joggai Appeal

Victor Joggai appeal

I found this appeal on the 6-10-07 edition of the Saturday Vanguard written by Mr Fred Iwenjora.
Please send donations to
Diamond Bank. Broad Street.
Acct- ECWA. Yaba.
No – 0562010004154
Ref Donation for Victor’s Bone Marrow Transplant